IF YOU believe the RIAA, Gertrude Walton has been apparently down loading more than 700 songs off peer-to-peer networks and deserves to have the book thrown at her.The 83 year old Granny has been an extremely persistent offender and has the gall to ignore demands from the RIAA to pay thousands of dollars for her life of piracy.It is not the first time that the body has accused grandmothers of being music pirates before and dragged them into court before demanding huge wodges of cash from their pension books. However, the Walton case is particularly unusual because Walton has been stone dead since December 2004.

The RIAA has found the first case of an undead music pirate who has apparently risen from the grave to nick music. Being a zombie has apparently endowed Mrs Walton with new abilities. When she was alive she would not have a PC in the house and didn't even know how to use one. She certainly did not download anything before she croaked. Since her death, according to the RIAA, she had adopted the name "smittenkitten" and had downloaded more than 700 tracks stored on her computer.Of course being a zombie she never replied to the RIAA letters. Her daughter sent the RIAA her mum"s death certificate but that was not enough for its briefs to believe that Mrs Walton had not got better.When members of her Majesty"s loyal media asked the RIAA about its relentless pursuit of pirates beyond the grave, a spokesman said that it may have made a slight mishtake. The case will be dropped.